Dropping the Bombshell

At 33 years old, is it too late to begin a life?

You see, that's where I am right now - 33 1/2 and still waiting for life to happen to me instead of making life happen. Still hoping that this was all a mistake and that I'm really 19 again and have plenty of time to make my way in the world. Plenty of time to daydream. Plenty of time to plan.

Nope, I'm screwed. I have no career, no home, no savings, no life. I'm not blaming anyone anymore for my shortcomings but I realize that my road to a midlife crisis is about three blocks long instead of miles away. It's time to make an overdue change.

This blog is intended to be cathartic. Help me get the demons out before they devour me completely. I'm switching my downward spiral into an uphill battle and if I happen to pick up a few readers while I'm at it, fantastic.

My dream for my life is simple - own a successful bakery. Be married. Have children. Own a home. Be happy. That's pretty much the dream of every girl who once owned an Easybake Oven, right?

I have a culinary degree. I work regularly on cakes and cookies out of my home but right now it's just enough money to buy dinner and more ingredients. My dream is to own a specialty pastry shop that specializes in cake. I've wanted this for as long as I can remember. I come from a family of bakers so this dream of mine is not a whim. It's in my blood.

Here's the issue: I'm in credit card debt to the tune of nearly $6,000 and my culinary student loans reach $28,000. My annual salary is $22,000. In California. In Los Angeles County. In 2010. Ugh. So this blog is really about owning up to my debt and figuring out a way to get right-side-up again. Once that ailment is cured, I can focus on my dream.

My boyfriend of two years is dying to marry me, have babies and be happy but he's been unemployed for a year. Neither one of us can afford that home, the kids or the dream wedding. And while his support means everything, it doesn't pay the bills. I am sure his story will pop up on here from time to time but only if it directly relates to the dream.

I will do my best to post daily or at least as I continue to progress. I'm giving myself one year to make some headway and by the end of 2010, I should be very close to obtaining one or all of my goals. Stay tuned to see if I make it. :)